Fair Game

What happens when one day fine day everyone gets to know that you are a spy? Based on the true story of Valerie Plame, a CIA operative whose cover was blown by the White House, Fair Game doesn’t really go in for the shock and awe but never falls short of engaging.

Valerie Plame (Naomi Watts) is a CIA operative who balances covert operations across the world along with a very healthy suburban family life that is picture perfect with two kids and a husband. With the White House hell bent on attacking Iraq on the basis of the intel about its weapons of mass destruction, Plame gets her husband, Joe Wilson (Sean Penn), a former ambassador to an African nation, to go to Niger to investigate if the reports of a sale of yellow cake uranium to Iraq are true. Wilson concludes that such a sale never took place and even writes an article for the New York Times stating how the White House manipulated information to justify the attack on Iraq. The White House makes its move by not only revealing Plame’s identity but discredits Wilson’s claim by suggesting that he was compelled by his wife to tarnish the President. Plame and Wilson don’t see eye to eye on how to deal with the situation and while Plame wants to remain quite Wilson decides to fight for what is right. Finally Plame chooses to come clean with her story.

For a film whose premise is pretty basic the first half hour or so of Fair Game doesn’t really make any sense. Characters talk the talk and walk the walk in a very staccato manner without really adding anything substantial to the plot but some where along the way Fair Game suddenly makes sense. Once you catch on the film grips you and Doug Liman never really loses the tension or even the pace. What starts off a political thriller soon changes gears and becomes a taut drama when Wilson’s actions isolate Plame and even threaten their marriage.

Fair Game is blessed with a very convincing Naomi Watts at the center of it all. Her Plame never goes overboard and is so believable that at times she doesn’t really do anything that an actor would be inspired to; rather she plays Plame almost like routine. You realize how wonderfully restrained Watts is when in the final minutes of the film Doug Liman cuts to the real Plame’s C-Span testimony as the end-credits play. This reviewer has, much to his own chagrin, in the past has found Penn to be a very boring actor to say the least. Barring Carlito’s Way and Mystic River and maybe U-Turn to some extent no matter what character Penn embodies he comes across as someone who seems to tease the audience for no real reason. But this time around Penn keeps his emotions under check and even though he relies on the very conspicuous lines on his forehead to convey myriad emotions, Penn packs in a very credible performance.

Doug Liman’s trademark of realistic and almost documentary like execution that added great resonance to the Bourne series is at play here as well. Liberal use of handheld camera and the heady mix of politics with family drama keep you riveted to Fair Game even though it never really transcends to evoke a similar agitated reaction from the viewer that the actors portray. Fair Game seizes you but that’s largely thanks to Naomi Watts and Sean Penn.

Rating: 3/5

Cast: Naomi Watts, Sean Penn

Screenplay by: Jez Butterworth and John-Henry Butterworth based on the books by Joseph Wilson (The Politics of Truth) and Valerie Plame (Fair Game)

Directed by: Doug Liman

This review originally appeared in Buzz in Town

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Tees Maark Khan

Forget plagiarizing the entire plot or an iconic scene every now and then, Farah Khan’s Tees Maar Khan has five minutes of screen time dedicated to a character first seen in the Happydent ‘Tere dil roshan, tere mann roshan’ chewing gum commercial. Really? The Czarina of non-sense cinema has left no stone unturned to show that she ‘Khan’ do it even with a fictitious Khan when it comes to full-full entertaining films.

Whacking the wristwatch of the doctor who delivers him Tabres Mirza Khan or TMK- Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar) has been conning people right from his birth. After fooling the police for years he is finally nabbed in Paris but escapes midair thanks to the bumbling duo of M/s Mukherjee & Chatterjee (Aman Verma and Murli, don’t recall who’s who). Just like the police’s intel, the conjoined evil Johari Brothers seek TMK’s help to retrieve their booty from the police train that would be transporting it to Delhi. In between romancing Anya (Katrina Kaif), an item girl who is also the love of his life and stays in his house and strangely enough calls his mother ‘mummy’, prancing with Salman ‘Bhai’ Khan (Salman Khan) celebrating Eid at the drop of a rumaal just because he feels like it Tees Maar Khan puts his daring plan in place- he will engage an entire village along the railway track from where the train will pass to act in a film and ‘direct’ them to rob the train. Along with the help of his three sidekicks called Burger, Soda and something like that TMK becomes an NRI filmmaker called Manoj ‘Day’ Ramalan and gets Atish Kapoor (a hilarious Akshaye Khanna) to play the lead in his film. Kapoor, ruing the day his secretary Baweja (Sudhir Pandey) refused Danny Doyle’s offer to play the lead in Glumdog Millionaire, grabs the NRI filmmaker’s offer with both hands. With the con set in place TMK and his team live up to their infamous name!

Much like Om Shanti Om, Tees Maar Khan too welcomes you to the same over-the-top-logic-can-go-to-hell style of Farah Khan School of Filmmaking with open arms and even though a large part of the film is nothing more than cacophony, you don’t really mind it. Khan and her partner in crime Shirish Kunder, who could have might as well directed this film for there is nothing that he hasn’t contributed to ranging from story, screenplay, dialogues, lyrics, background score, editing and producing, officially pick up the plot from Vittorio De Sica After the Fox that featured Peter Sellers but pepper it mostly unsophisticated and rather crude jokes that will compel you to crack up unexpectedly every now and then. Filled with asinine one-liners which seem to be the real reason why most of the sequences were constructed, the writing in Tees Maar Khan tries too hard but would have failed completely had it not been for the effort on the part of actors especially Khanna, Kumar and supporting members like Pandey.

There’s a lot riding on Tees Maar Khan for Farah Khan for she needs to prove her world can exist beyond Shah Rukh Khan and even though Akshay Kumar is as big a name these are tough times for Khiladi Kumar. The titular role can be described as Kumar’s version of SRK’s madcap Badshah and for what it’s worth he lives up to his brand of comedy that had taken a beating. But surprisingly it’s Akshaye Khanna as the Oscar obsessed actor who proves to be the mainstay of the film. Long considered to be a fine actor who always had it in him and yet chose not to really dazzle, Khanna’s very interestingly cast and is fun to watch particularly when he peps himself up by chanting his version of ‘Jai Ho’- aptly called ‘Day Ho’! Katrina Kaif overdoes her doe eyed damsel in imaginary distress thing and truth be told she seems like the only one besides Farah Khan, of course, who’s enjoying shaking a leg to Sheila ki Jawaani.

Even with all the madness that she could think of Khan limits Tess Maar Khan with a sloppy screenplay that seems to be as badly put together as the Johari Brothers. At places she doesn’t even bother to work out the detailing of characters- the mother seems to be a victim of a mega Om Shanti Om Kirron Kher hangover. Many scenes seem forced and even the songs, chartbusters if you please, seem out of place. Much like Ek Do Teen from Tezaab, the mother of all item numbers Sheila ki Jawaani comes very early in the film but unlike the iconic Saroj Khan-Madhuri Dixit number Sheila is almost forced upon the viewer.

There is a sense of disdain from most quarters that greets Farah Khan’s unapologetic fashion of not only getting inspired by the classics but not giving a damn when it comes to ‘recreating’ the magic of the cinema of yesteryears and yet her previous films like Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om have been wildly successful. As a follow-up Tees Maar Khan might not be as liked all around, it has its moments and let’s be honest Farah Khan films are a celebration of the senseless so why even bother with the absence of logic or lack of anything remotely reasonable!

Rating: 2/5

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Akshaye Khanna, Katrina Kaif, Sudhir Pandey

Screenplay by: Ashmith Kunder and Shirish Kunder

Directed by: Farah Khan

Image: www.bollycurry.com

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No Problem

In the past one could have been forgiven for sheepishly enjoying an Anees Bazmi film like No Entry and even Welcome to some extent on the pretext of being a guilty pleasure but there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can redeem the torture called No Problem.

Centered around a diamond heist where international crook Marcos (Suneil Shetty) and his ragtag bunch of thugs that includes Sophie (Neetu Chandra) has been given the short end of the stick by a minister, No Problem has three or four parallel tracks that can’t be called a story by any stretch of imagination. Yash (Sanjay Dutt) and Raj (Akshaye Khanna) are petty thieves who rob a village bank after taking refuge in Zandulal’s (Paresh Rawal) house. Suspected of being a coconspirator in the robbery Zandulal follows them to Durban in order to clear his name. Meanwhile super idiot cop Arjun Singh (Anil Kapoor) who somehow manages to survive a wife, Kajal (Sushmita Sen), who tries to kill him every time her split personality takes over, ends up capturing Marcos who escapes only to kill the minister when he can’t recover his diamonds. Yash and Raj in order to return Zandulal’s money end up robbing the dead minister’s safe along with the diamonds so that Zandulal keeps his mouth shut about Raj’s real identity lest his marriage to Sanjana (Kangana Ranaut), who happens to be Kajal’s younger sister is stopped by her Police Commissioner father, Shakti Kapoor. This confusing nonsense is just half the story! To makes worse everyone ends up following everyone else, everyone tries to double-cross everyone else and everyone heaves a sigh of relief when a bunch of gorillas set things right.

Designed to antagonize the daylights out of the viewer, No Problem is loud, crass and lacks everything that constitutes a film right from the word go. There are a few lines that might look funny, a few sequences that might force you to throw in a chuckle or two but everything else is a big problem. The acting is miserable with producer Anil Kapoor leading the charge; Paresh Rawal, Askhaye Khanna, Sanjay Dutt, Sushmita Sen and Suniel Shetty all try to outdo each other but special mention needs to be made of Kangana Ranaut, who singularly packs in the one of the worst acting jobs you’d ever see.

There is nothing wrong with humor that, at times, is forced down one’s throat but to orchestrate an whole film around mindless premise where an entire South African village happens to speak Hindi, where just about everyone from Durban’s police commissioner to South Africa’s Mining Minister is an Indian and gorillas act like humans and humans prance around like a bunch of drunk monkeys is just not funny.

A miserable excuse of a film No Problem is best avoided. Anees Bazmi, who in the past has been credited with writing films such as Aankhen, Shola Aur Shabnam and Deewana Mastana, unapologetically makes a complete hash of No Problem. Avoid.

Image- www.getlyricz.com

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Band Baaja Baaraat

*This review contains spoilers.

Continuing to explore the loves and the lives of the common folk of west Delhi, Band Baaja Baaraat succeeds to a great extent at repackaging a done to death tale. Even with a story that has really has nothing new to offer Band Baaja Baaraat is enjoyable largely thanks to some good writing and pleasant acting.

There has been a lot of talk about Yash Raj Films’ decision to launch Ranveer Singh, someone who has no filmy connection and isn’t the kind of face that would set the box office ringing but Singh, to say the least, is well cast and suits the role like hand in glove. Bittoo (Ranveer Singh) is an aimless chap idling his time away in Delhi University making the most of life before familial tradition sucks him back to Saharanpur. He bumps into Shruti Kakkar (Anushka Sharma) at a wedding he crashes along with his hostel mates and even tries to impress her by presenting the DVD of the shaadi video he shoots but is told bluntly that he isn’t the kind of boy she will ever fall for. To his credit Bittoo effortlessly shifts gears and becomes the friend. A largely aimless Bittoo ends up following Shruti like a pup when he realizes partnering her in her wedding planning company is the only way he can stay away from farming away his life back home. Their venture ‘Shaadi Mubarak’ starts from the congested lanes of Janakpuri and finally makes it the posh Sainik Farms without a hitch but while celebrating their biggest success they end up sleeping together. While Shruti thinks of this as a natural progression of a friendship, Bittoo just wants to forget the whole episode, kaand as he labels it and move on.

Although Band Baaja Baaraat’s setting is authentic it still is very limited and while this isn’t the kind of film where one would have expected director Maneesh Sharma to scratch beneath the surface. But had the screenplay done that it would have benefited the film and made it something more than just the plain sweet film it ends up being. The first half of the film is extremely breezy and even though it’s nothing out of the box Habib Faisal’s dialogues add great resonance to the manner in which the drama unfolds. The trouble starts when Bittoo and Shruti’s When Harry Met Sallyesque moment announces its arrival. Once that happens the elementary gender disparity of thoughts knowingly pushes them into different directions, situations challenge them to delve deep into their selves to realize the true worth of the other person, yada, yada, yada…you get the picture.

The combination of Bittoo, a charmer to the hilt in his own limited world and Shruti, a hard working miss goody two shoes that made them popular suffers once they spilt. But strangely for a team that has already made it ‘big’ the moment they part ways they are back to planning small by-lane type weddings. Unable to function without each other they decide to bury the hatchet when an ultra rich businessman makes them an offer they can’t refuse. With packets to return to their lenders both see this as an opportunity to bounce back and are helped by their regular team of a DJ, a florist and a caterer. Predictably Bittoo realizes that he loves Shruti but in the interim she’s agreed to a Dubai based well settled arranged match who according to her is the ‘right’ choice but in true filmy fashion Bittoo elbows his way back into Shruti’s heart.

Ranveer Singh is confident and has a screen presence that many of the star sons believe is their birthright. He isn’t conventionally good looking and before you hold that against him just jog back to the early 1990’s when Ajay Devgn was dismissed off for the same reasons. Singh’s Bittoo is infectiously authentic to the extent that a few minutes into the film every Dilliwallah would end up recalling the irritating yet affable college mate they knew of but never bothered befriending. Sharma on the other hands ends up playing the same simple North Indian kudi whose life is more often than not smaller than her dreams. Now that her three film contract with Yash Raj Films has been entertained perhaps Sharma can look forward to doing something else for a change but with playing the same character three times over she will find it difficult to break the mold.

Band Baaja Baaraat gets it right for a major part and irrespective of the weak and unsurprising second that makes it limited, its worth watching.

Image: www.mixxpoint.com

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Real Fakes

Apparently Sanjay Dutt was ‘raring to go’ the moment Mani Shankar narrated Knock Out’s script to him. One can understand his excitement for how often does an actor get a chance to play the exact same role that he saw on DVD a few moons ago! To say that Mani Shankar copied Joel Schumacher’s 2002 thriller Phone Booth would be stating the obvious; not only was the heart of the film transplanted but it’s soul of Colin Farrell-Kiefer Sutherland thriller that has been callously plagiarized. (Read my review of Knock Out here)

Plagiarism in popular Hindi cinema ha been as common as the sunlight since forever. A few years ago when the Internet and cable television made the world a global village the industry started called it ‘remake’ or ‘inspiration’. Mani Shankar went to town claiming that there is nothing common between his Knock Out and Phone Booth but truth be told everyone in Mumbai knows that sending across DVDs to adapt as ‘reference’ is a common practice. For years now people in the industry are asked to cite a reference so as to enable the actor to better understand his or role in a short span of time, to make the producer understand what the script is all about and to force creativity on the rest of the crew.

There is nothing wrong in acknowledging the source and officially adapting a work of art. In fact, saying please and thanking finally got Martin Scorsese, perhaps the greatest living American director, the long deserved Academy nod. The Departed is a remake of the cult Hong Kong action flick Infernal Affairs but to say that The Departed is just a remake would be a gross understatement. For some years now the Hindi film industry has started paying licensing fee for a song or a story but it’s still a murky business.

Besides the loss of face and credibility, deliberate and unsolicited lifting of story tracks and in some case compete film including shots copied to the last frame speak volumes about the lack of not only originality and sincerity amongst the majority of Hindi filmmakers. We shouldn’t get fooled by the onslaught of media reports announcing the arrival of ‘Bollywood’ on the global scene with any seriousness for internationally a very few even take our cinema seriously. There has been a great increase in production qualities and producers don’t mind spending crores of rupees on a single song so why can’t they spend a few lakhs more and acquire the rights to legally remake a film?

Years ago I saw this wonderful film about police procedure called Inkaar, featuring Vinod Khanna and Amjad Khan. The moment I saw it I realized that it was too smart to be an ‘original’ film and thought it was based on some James Hadley Chase thriller. It still remains one of my favorite Hindi films (remember the famous Helen song ‘Mungda’) but now when I know it was ‘lifted’ from Akira Kurosawa’s High and Low it always leaves behind a bad taste in my mouth.

If India has to really become the so called super power of a nation that everyone believes it’s on its way to then respecting originality has to be one of the pillars. Bapppi Lahri who made a career of ripping songs actually sued and won a case against Dr. Dre for using his song Kaliyon Ka Chaman without his permission! But don’t try to expect the same justice in India for our Indian copyright laws are so archaic that people actually get away with blue murder.

Judge Roshan Dalvi watched both Knock Out and Phone Booth and not only ruled in favor of 20th Century Fox but stayed the release of Knock Out. The producers then approached a division bench and appealed against the ruling. The two member bench then stayed the previous ruling and allowed the film to be released once a fine of Rs. 1.5 crore was paid. Now instead of feeling bad or ashamed about what had happened the producer readily complied with the directive and also commented that the judgment was a ‘huge relief as it was literally a touch and go’ with the release just 12 hours away! One wonders if Sohail Maklai, the producer of Knock Out, would have had the same reaction had the bench sternly warned the producer in writing or in spirit that such flagrant claims of originality are actually criminal for they ‘mislead’ the people and that it won’t be pardoned in the future.

The problem isn’t how the industry seems to get together and turn a blind eye towards such shameless acts. The real problem is that somewhere such actions suggest that no one respects originality anymore. Even Aamir Khan, a sudden custodian of the morality of copyright issues when it came to Chetan Bhagat’s problem with 3 Idiots, had no apprehensiveness when he stated that Ghajini (both Tamil and Hindi versions) were true ‘inspirations’ and not mere ‘lifts’ of Christopher Nolan’s Memento. If one were to start making a list of Hindi films that were adaptations, remakes, copies, lifts, inspiration of some foreign film, the list wouldn’t end!

This article was originally written for Buzz in Town

Image: Bollywood Hungama

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Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Sequels are made for two reasons- to take the story (in most cases franchise) forward or curiosity to find out whatever really happened once the dust settled. Oliver Stone wanted to see how Gordon Gekko, “a quintessentially American story, manages to survive in a new shark tank 22 years later”. Stone also believes that the world and Gekko have changed but this belief is only limited to the fringes for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is almost like a shamelessly rehash of its predecessor.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps would have worked better has this been a straight tale of how Gekko got back at the world. After all if you thaw someone as iconic as Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) shouldn’t he be given more to do than sign books and give the looks? Gekko’s daughter, Winnie (Carey Mulligan) blames him for everything wrong in the world and loathes his mere presence but even then it’s just one teary scene with loads of reference laden dialogue that sets the record straight between the two. Once Gekko is forgiven and enters Winnie’s world we really don’t see them make up for lost time; instead Gekko’s only interested in getting her signature on a piece of paper that will give him access to 100 million dollars he put aside before going to jail. Jacob (Shia LaBeouf), part Gekko-part Bud Fox up and coming investment banker and Winnie’s lover, on the other is one naïve fool who simply refuses to learn the ways of the world. He’s always lending money to his real estate agent mom (Susan Sarandon), speaking on the phone to Dr. Masters (Austin Pendleton), a scientist in sunny California, who keeps asking for money for his sustained efforts to create clean energy, buying rings for Winnie even though she keeps asking him to return the rocks every time the stock market acts up, working for Bretton James (Josh Brolin), the devil incarnate or Gekko reprised depending on the way you look, fully aware that James is a spineless broker and yet acting surprised whenever he does something nasty- ever after all this Jacob has the same sullen expression on his face no matter what how different the emotion might be!

Stone made a career of making films on subjects where popular opinion was as varied as chalk and cheese. He had a knack for picking up subjects that allowed him to spin his web in such a manner that our version of truth was challenged and often defeated by his version but those days are long gone. Stone refuses to get a simple point that in this day and age when nothing can be hidden from the masses giving his version of a current event can be a difficult task. Like World Trade Center where he couldn’t really ‘tinker’ around with the facts of what transpired, showing the so called ‘insider’ look at the recent stock market crash isn’t as exciting as it might have sounded on paper. Rather it comes across as several slackly tied scenes where bankers sitting around a large table and ask for bailouts. Stone tries hard as he talks the talk and walks the walks. He even resorts to complete PowerPoint presentations and animation videos to show what the characters are doing. Stupidly enough his camera ravenously looms over jewelry in a scene where he shows the New York glitterati. The hopeless ploy to string the return of Gordon Gekko and the world’s latest economic crisis with the same string makes Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps a highly uninteresting film.

The biggest problem with the film is that it seems to take the adage of the more things change the more they remain the same a tad too seriously. As a result the little ambiguity that defined Gordon Gekko and Bud Fox in Wall Street is traded for rather simplistic shades of gray that often end up categorizing everyone as good or bad. Stone pitches Gekko as a wounded anti-hero as opposed to the villain that the first part made him to be. But the truth be told Gordon ‘Greed is Good’ Gekko wasn’t really the villain; he took some liberties that weren’t illegal and just made money. In the sequel all the bad guys are Gordon Gekko wannabes and all the good guys are Bud Fox look-alikes. Worse still all good guys are rehashed Gekkos without committing the crime or serving time!

Barring Michael Douglas, who looks devilishly devious as Gekko two decades on, there is nothing to write home about Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. To comprehend how limited an actor Shia LaBeouf really is one just needs to see the scene where he mouths his signature ‘this is the end of the world’ Transformers kind of line as the stock market plummets. Josh Brolin as the new and improved Gordon Gekko is made to look very villain like kind courtesy Rodrigo Prieto’s Godfather like lighting but that is the extent of his scariness. Susan Sarandon gets a handful of scenes where she gets to exercise her southern accent and Carey Mulligan’s wounded butterfly like Winner Gekko is tedious.

This is a film where everything happens almost the way you expect and some times it takes too long to happen. The set up isn’t as exciting as the manner in which Stone revealed this world twenty years ago. No longer are we interested in his conspiracy theories and we really don’t care about the fact that once upon a time he saw things that we really bother noticing. We know how this ugly world works and Oliver Stone needs to know that as well!

Rating: 2/5

This review first appeared in Buzz in Town

Image: IMPA Awards

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We Are Family

*This review might contain spoilers.

A fashion photographer, Aman’s (Arjun Rampal) been divorced for three years now and decides it’s time for him to introduce his girlfriend Shreya (Kareena Kapoor) to his kids and divorced wife Maya (Kajol). Nothing goes as planned and the kids- Aleya, Ankush and Anjali- hate Shreya right from the word go. She calls them monsters and they think of her as a wicked witch. A few weeks later Aman gets caught up because of work and when Maya isn’t reachable on the phone Shreya is forced to spend some time with the kids. As expected they start fighting but a few syrupy moments later Anjali warms up to Shreya and Ankush follows suit. Anajli even helps Shreya at her fashion show but Aleya accuses her of replacing Maya with Shreya. Anjali takes off and finally when Maya finds the little one she and Aman forbid Shreya from even coming close to the kids. Things take a turn when Aman returns to Maya when he gets to know she is terminally ill. Shreya comes to meet the kids and Maya realizes that perhaps she was wrong in judging Shreya. She decides to welcome her into the family.

We Are Family should make it amply clear that buying the rights, saying please and thank you to remake isn’t going to make things any better! There are seven writers who have been credited with the screenplay of the film and even if each had one decent half-baked scene to off, this would have been a passable flick instead of the most boring two hours ever spent on a film!

The producers of the film went to town saying that they have Indianized the tale to suit our cultural palette but the only thing Indian about the whole film is that both the mothers are dying to tell the daughter on her wedding day that she’s the world’s most beautiful bride! The other Indian agenda of the film is to convince unmarried career driven woman that there’s a mother lurking inside her and given, rather thrust upon, an opportunity she’d do a fantastic job of rearing kids.

To Indianize also means base the tale in a foreign country for how else would we ‘justify’ the first wife initiating the second one into familial duties? Had this been in India the loving and more importantly spinster mausi (think Karan Johar regulars like Kirron Kher or Farida Jalal) would have taken over! Based in Australia the six main characters don’t have any friends and their entire existence is based around each other. They go about their lives with such amazing regularity- Aman keeps saying things like ‘I’m sorry’, ‘I didn’t mean to’, ‘I’ll make it up’; Shreya makes boring sandwiches at the drop of the hat, Maya is only concerned about getting her children ready for school- that the thought of even an earth shattering event like cancer breaking the pattern seems sacrilegious.

We Are Family’s writing is insipid and perfunctory to the extent of boredom. Why are we even worried about western world influencing and corrupting our culture when people living in Australia speak better Hindi than south Mumbai crowd! For a character who is four years old and born in Australia Anjali speaks fluent and cinematic Hindi! Even Iravati Harshe, the Indian origin doctor (why can’t, for the sake of cinematic resonance, a Hindi film protagonist find be entertained by a Firang doctor?) comes in every now and then and mouths stupid English to Hindi translated lines like ‘Tumhe apne pati ko bata dena chahiye’ and a few minutes later ‘Maya, ab bacho ko bata do!’

Once we get to know that Maya has only a few days more to live the film more episodic than any soap on Colors. The ‘transfer of power’ scene in the hospital where Maya bestows upon Shreya the responsibility of her three children is so forced that the only thing that outdoes it is Maya’s thrice over talk with her kids where she gives them instructions for living it up.

How does one live an entire life in a matter of days is a theme that has plagued Hindi films for a long time. In the recent past Nagesh Kukunoor’s Aashayein tried dealing with the same thought and the only thing it showed in the name of living it up was a lung cancer patient running everyday! Hrishkesh Mukherjee’s Anand too showed a slice of life but his Anand just went about everyday as if nothing sinister awaits him in the darkness around the corner.

We Are Family is highly insensitive when it comes to dealing with terminally ill patients and the doctor’s insensitivity is almost appalling. When Maya asks how to carry on, the oncologist simply suggests get used to living years in days and almost looks around for the bell to ring in the next patient waiting outside. The lack of sensitivity in dealing with a mother’s heart wrenching last moments are then further trivialized by having huge photos of Maya’s short lived life is slide-shown with everyone dressing up to confer some thing like a lifetime achievement award on Maya for living it up. Raju Singh’s harrowing background score, that makes Maya look like a covert commando for most of the film, also adds to the misery.

The three kids are cute bordering annoying and Arjun Rampal is bored to the extent of functioning in slow motion while the leading ladies are passable. Kareena Kapoor never bothers to put in any effort lest people think she tried too hard to match up to Kajol, who it seems just showed up and doesn’t exert herself at all. There is shot just before the interval where Kajol displays why she is leagues ahead of her co-stars. As opposed to her break-down scene in the kitchen here in the blink of an eye she changes the entire mood when it dawn upon her that she’s dying.

Stepmom fans don’t be fooled by the ‘official’ remake of the films for We Are Family is as regular as Bollywood can ever get. Think Kal Ho Na Ho on a worse day replete with the obligatory jeeven darshan se barpoor standing and looking lost kind of desolate song, Rehmo Karam, that is repeated twice to ensure you heard it and to round-off there is a flash forward to Aleya’s marriage with a grizzly bear bearded Aman, who alarmingly still fits into his decade old trousers and hardly surprising haven’t-aged-a-single-day Shreya at Aleya’s wedding like the gray haired Preity and Saif Ali Khan! Thankfully this film wasn’t based in Rajasthan or else Maya would have married her teen-aged Aleya before popping it just to see her daughter in her world’s most beautiful bride avatar!

Rating: 1 ½ out of 5

Cast: Kajol, Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Iravati Harshe, Aachal Munjal, Nominath Ginsberg and Diya Sonecha

Written By: Gigi Levangie Grazer and Venita Coelho

Directed by: Sidharth P. Malhotra

Image: www.wearefamilythefilm.com

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