Tees Maark Khan

Forget plagiarizing the entire plot or an iconic scene every now and then, Farah Khan’s Tees Maar Khan has five minutes of screen time dedicated to a character first seen in the Happydent ‘Tere dil roshan, tere mann roshan’ chewing gum commercial. Really? The Czarina of non-sense cinema has left no stone unturned to show that she ‘Khan’ do it even with a fictitious Khan when it comes to full-full entertaining films.

Whacking the wristwatch of the doctor who delivers him Tabres Mirza Khan or TMK- Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar) has been conning people right from his birth. After fooling the police for years he is finally nabbed in Paris but escapes midair thanks to the bumbling duo of M/s Mukherjee & Chatterjee (Aman Verma and Murli, don’t recall who’s who). Just like the police’s intel, the conjoined evil Johari Brothers seek TMK’s help to retrieve their booty from the police train that would be transporting it to Delhi. In between romancing Anya (Katrina Kaif), an item girl who is also the love of his life and stays in his house and strangely enough calls his mother ‘mummy’, prancing with Salman ‘Bhai’ Khan (Salman Khan) celebrating Eid at the drop of a rumaal just because he feels like it Tees Maar Khan puts his daring plan in place- he will engage an entire village along the railway track from where the train will pass to act in a film and ‘direct’ them to rob the train. Along with the help of his three sidekicks called Burger, Soda and something like that TMK becomes an NRI filmmaker called Manoj ‘Day’ Ramalan and gets Atish Kapoor (a hilarious Akshaye Khanna) to play the lead in his film. Kapoor, ruing the day his secretary Baweja (Sudhir Pandey) refused Danny Doyle’s offer to play the lead in Glumdog Millionaire, grabs the NRI filmmaker’s offer with both hands. With the con set in place TMK and his team live up to their infamous name!

Much like Om Shanti Om, Tees Maar Khan too welcomes you to the same over-the-top-logic-can-go-to-hell style of Farah Khan School of Filmmaking with open arms and even though a large part of the film is nothing more than cacophony, you don’t really mind it. Khan and her partner in crime Shirish Kunder, who could have might as well directed this film for there is nothing that he hasn’t contributed to ranging from story, screenplay, dialogues, lyrics, background score, editing and producing, officially pick up the plot from Vittorio De Sica After the Fox that featured Peter Sellers but pepper it mostly unsophisticated and rather crude jokes that will compel you to crack up unexpectedly every now and then. Filled with asinine one-liners which seem to be the real reason why most of the sequences were constructed, the writing in Tees Maar Khan tries too hard but would have failed completely had it not been for the effort on the part of actors especially Khanna, Kumar and supporting members like Pandey.

There’s a lot riding on Tees Maar Khan for Farah Khan for she needs to prove her world can exist beyond Shah Rukh Khan and even though Akshay Kumar is as big a name these are tough times for Khiladi Kumar. The titular role can be described as Kumar’s version of SRK’s madcap Badshah and for what it’s worth he lives up to his brand of comedy that had taken a beating. But surprisingly it’s Akshaye Khanna as the Oscar obsessed actor who proves to be the mainstay of the film. Long considered to be a fine actor who always had it in him and yet chose not to really dazzle, Khanna’s very interestingly cast and is fun to watch particularly when he peps himself up by chanting his version of ‘Jai Ho’- aptly called ‘Day Ho’! Katrina Kaif overdoes her doe eyed damsel in imaginary distress thing and truth be told she seems like the only one besides Farah Khan, of course, who’s enjoying shaking a leg to Sheila ki Jawaani.

Even with all the madness that she could think of Khan limits Tess Maar Khan with a sloppy screenplay that seems to be as badly put together as the Johari Brothers. At places she doesn’t even bother to work out the detailing of characters- the mother seems to be a victim of a mega Om Shanti Om Kirron Kher hangover. Many scenes seem forced and even the songs, chartbusters if you please, seem out of place. Much like Ek Do Teen from Tezaab, the mother of all item numbers Sheila ki Jawaani comes very early in the film but unlike the iconic Saroj Khan-Madhuri Dixit number Sheila is almost forced upon the viewer.

There is a sense of disdain from most quarters that greets Farah Khan’s unapologetic fashion of not only getting inspired by the classics but not giving a damn when it comes to ‘recreating’ the magic of the cinema of yesteryears and yet her previous films like Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om have been wildly successful. As a follow-up Tees Maar Khan might not be as liked all around, it has its moments and let’s be honest Farah Khan films are a celebration of the senseless so why even bother with the absence of logic or lack of anything remotely reasonable!

Rating: 2/5

Cast: Akshay Kumar, Akshaye Khanna, Katrina Kaif, Sudhir Pandey

Screenplay by: Ashmith Kunder and Shirish Kunder

Directed by: Farah Khan

Image: www.bollycurry.com

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No Problem

In the past one could have been forgiven for sheepishly enjoying an Anees Bazmi film like No Entry and even Welcome to some extent on the pretext of being a guilty pleasure but there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can redeem the torture called No Problem.

Centered around a diamond heist where international crook Marcos (Suneil Shetty) and his ragtag bunch of thugs that includes Sophie (Neetu Chandra) has been given the short end of the stick by a minister, No Problem has three or four parallel tracks that can’t be called a story by any stretch of imagination. Yash (Sanjay Dutt) and Raj (Akshaye Khanna) are petty thieves who rob a village bank after taking refuge in Zandulal’s (Paresh Rawal) house. Suspected of being a coconspirator in the robbery Zandulal follows them to Durban in order to clear his name. Meanwhile super idiot cop Arjun Singh (Anil Kapoor) who somehow manages to survive a wife, Kajal (Sushmita Sen), who tries to kill him every time her split personality takes over, ends up capturing Marcos who escapes only to kill the minister when he can’t recover his diamonds. Yash and Raj in order to return Zandulal’s money end up robbing the dead minister’s safe along with the diamonds so that Zandulal keeps his mouth shut about Raj’s real identity lest his marriage to Sanjana (Kangana Ranaut), who happens to be Kajal’s younger sister is stopped by her Police Commissioner father, Shakti Kapoor. This confusing nonsense is just half the story! To makes worse everyone ends up following everyone else, everyone tries to double-cross everyone else and everyone heaves a sigh of relief when a bunch of gorillas set things right.

Designed to antagonize the daylights out of the viewer, No Problem is loud, crass and lacks everything that constitutes a film right from the word go. There are a few lines that might look funny, a few sequences that might force you to throw in a chuckle or two but everything else is a big problem. The acting is miserable with producer Anil Kapoor leading the charge; Paresh Rawal, Askhaye Khanna, Sanjay Dutt, Sushmita Sen and Suniel Shetty all try to outdo each other but special mention needs to be made of Kangana Ranaut, who singularly packs in the one of the worst acting jobs you’d ever see.

There is nothing wrong with humor that, at times, is forced down one’s throat but to orchestrate an whole film around mindless premise where an entire South African village happens to speak Hindi, where just about everyone from Durban’s police commissioner to South Africa’s Mining Minister is an Indian and gorillas act like humans and humans prance around like a bunch of drunk monkeys is just not funny.

A miserable excuse of a film No Problem is best avoided. Anees Bazmi, who in the past has been credited with writing films such as Aankhen, Shola Aur Shabnam and Deewana Mastana, unapologetically makes a complete hash of No Problem. Avoid.

Image- www.getlyricz.com

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Band Baaja Baaraat

*This review contains spoilers.

Continuing to explore the loves and the lives of the common folk of west Delhi, Band Baaja Baaraat succeeds to a great extent at repackaging a done to death tale. Even with a story that has really has nothing new to offer Band Baaja Baaraat is enjoyable largely thanks to some good writing and pleasant acting.

There has been a lot of talk about Yash Raj Films’ decision to launch Ranveer Singh, someone who has no filmy connection and isn’t the kind of face that would set the box office ringing but Singh, to say the least, is well cast and suits the role like hand in glove. Bittoo (Ranveer Singh) is an aimless chap idling his time away in Delhi University making the most of life before familial tradition sucks him back to Saharanpur. He bumps into Shruti Kakkar (Anushka Sharma) at a wedding he crashes along with his hostel mates and even tries to impress her by presenting the DVD of the shaadi video he shoots but is told bluntly that he isn’t the kind of boy she will ever fall for. To his credit Bittoo effortlessly shifts gears and becomes the friend. A largely aimless Bittoo ends up following Shruti like a pup when he realizes partnering her in her wedding planning company is the only way he can stay away from farming away his life back home. Their venture ‘Shaadi Mubarak’ starts from the congested lanes of Janakpuri and finally makes it the posh Sainik Farms without a hitch but while celebrating their biggest success they end up sleeping together. While Shruti thinks of this as a natural progression of a friendship, Bittoo just wants to forget the whole episode, kaand as he labels it and move on.

Although Band Baaja Baaraat’s setting is authentic it still is very limited and while this isn’t the kind of film where one would have expected director Maneesh Sharma to scratch beneath the surface. But had the screenplay done that it would have benefited the film and made it something more than just the plain sweet film it ends up being. The first half of the film is extremely breezy and even though it’s nothing out of the box Habib Faisal’s dialogues add great resonance to the manner in which the drama unfolds. The trouble starts when Bittoo and Shruti’s When Harry Met Sallyesque moment announces its arrival. Once that happens the elementary gender disparity of thoughts knowingly pushes them into different directions, situations challenge them to delve deep into their selves to realize the true worth of the other person, yada, yada, yada…you get the picture.

The combination of Bittoo, a charmer to the hilt in his own limited world and Shruti, a hard working miss goody two shoes that made them popular suffers once they spilt. But strangely for a team that has already made it ‘big’ the moment they part ways they are back to planning small by-lane type weddings. Unable to function without each other they decide to bury the hatchet when an ultra rich businessman makes them an offer they can’t refuse. With packets to return to their lenders both see this as an opportunity to bounce back and are helped by their regular team of a DJ, a florist and a caterer. Predictably Bittoo realizes that he loves Shruti but in the interim she’s agreed to a Dubai based well settled arranged match who according to her is the ‘right’ choice but in true filmy fashion Bittoo elbows his way back into Shruti’s heart.

Ranveer Singh is confident and has a screen presence that many of the star sons believe is their birthright. He isn’t conventionally good looking and before you hold that against him just jog back to the early 1990’s when Ajay Devgn was dismissed off for the same reasons. Singh’s Bittoo is infectiously authentic to the extent that a few minutes into the film every Dilliwallah would end up recalling the irritating yet affable college mate they knew of but never bothered befriending. Sharma on the other hands ends up playing the same simple North Indian kudi whose life is more often than not smaller than her dreams. Now that her three film contract with Yash Raj Films has been entertained perhaps Sharma can look forward to doing something else for a change but with playing the same character three times over she will find it difficult to break the mold.

Band Baaja Baaraat gets it right for a major part and irrespective of the weak and unsurprising second that makes it limited, its worth watching.

Image: www.mixxpoint.com

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