Glumdog

Now that AR Rahman has won the Golden Globe for his original score in Slumdog Millionaire the press is going to pump up "Slumdog" as the greatest thing since Gandhi. Triumph of the underdog India. Well Indians will always be the underdog especially when it comes to Hollywood. Like many of us I still haven’t seen the film and unlike many of us I have a few issues with the film.

Don't get too perturbed this is a common Indian phenomenon to have problems with things that we haven't experienced. Just like you accept feeling happy when anything that is remotely Indian wins some thing anywhere in the world, you must understand why some of us don't share the enthusiasm. First and foremost the biggest thing "Slumdog" got it wrong was the language. This is a story about the underdog in the most 'underdogest' place anywhere in the universe. Welcome to Dharavi. Everything smells here (according to Anil Kapoor on some excerpt I saw or heard a few days ago.) and yet the promo is full of people from all walks of life conversing in English. Would it have been too much for Danny Boyle to make this thing in Hindi and insert English subtitles? Or am I expecting too much for Boyle ain't no Alejandro González Iñárritu and this ain't Amores Perrros? Or couldn't he do an Ang Lee; make it Mandarin (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon) and release a dubbed version for Hollywood. I just feel that the essence would have been captured better.

One can look past this with some effort. Remember I haven't seen the film yet so appreciate my efforts. What I can't get over is that Boyle for some NRI actor to play the central character. In a country that has a film culture unlike any other and in a country of a billion people couldn't Team Slumdog and captain Boyle find one actor to fit the bill? You get an NRI to play a character from the world’s biggest slum and his English sounds beter than the host for the evening, Mr. Prem Kumar (Anil Kapoor)! Bernardo Bertolucci sold so many magazine copies thanks to his interaction with Raju the slum dweller from Delhi when he was making Little Buddha. It's funny for Boyle decided to get master craftspeople from the Hindi film industry as companions on this journey of a lifetime but how could he get this little detail wrong beats me. All he needed to do was to sit at Cafe Coffee Day in Lokhandwala and he would have caused a riot of aspirants to portray Jamal. This in no way means disrespect to strugglers of Lokhandwala, of course.

Many people fear that, mirroring Attenborough’s Gandhi, the stupendous success of Slumdog would spark off a mad rush of foreigners rushing to the Indian shores to make a film or two about us. I don't fear that but one needs to realize that Sir Richard had this idea in the 1960's and nurtured the thought for twenty years before finally getting around immortalizing the Mahatma on celluloid. Danny Boyle also came down to Mumbai and experienced the Maximum City before embarking on Slumdog Millionaire. But there is a difference. Times have changed. No studio would have touched Sir Richard if he had decided to make the film in Hindi. I am willing to accept that studios could have influenced him to choose an unknown Indian-Brit called Ben Kingsley over a pucca desi Naseerudin Shah to play Gandhiji. Kingsley might be a royal pain to work with now (he insists on being addressed as Sir Ben while shooting) but this was before time. I don't think Boyle would have faced any problem putting "Slumdog" together. On the contrary the goras would have loved such an idea and had he been a little adamant he would have gotten some unknown Mumbaikar to play Jamal. Boyle was adamant at other places. He adamantly gave a Co-Director credit to Lovleen Tandon, the casting director, for the great work she did on Slumdog Millionaire. She couldn't find one Indian actor to play a slum dweller....

Oh what am I cribbing about...get over it!

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Dil Chahta Hai - a scary thought

Almost eight years on, watching this film it seems that most of my fears have come true. I do not like it anymore. These are the people I was worried will take over the world.

Don't get me wrong. I had watched it 5 times when it was released. So in a way I have contributed to this conspiracy.

While going to college in the 90's, I always had this vague theory that the generation younger to me was more conservative - they would be interested in returning to traditional values, higher salaries would drive their lives, not interesting projects and they would not shirk from spending big on their weddings a far cry from their parents. And if they failed in their first career of choice, they would have no hesitation in joining their family business.

When the film was released, an editorial had appeared in a newspaper which had claimed that the film represented a new India - its characters a young generation confident about their abilities, not afraid to flaunt their richness and ready to take on the opportunities in global village. Really?

Aamir is the rich kid who joins his father after playing the loafer for some time. Akshaye is the artist. He can afford it since it seems his mother (and family) seem to have a lot of money. We never really know what Saif does but this does not matter since in most films of the 90's what the hero does for a living is not important. How is this film any different from those ones? The guys do not want to strike out and try something different. Except go to Goa on a Merc.

The girls in the film do not have a career. Forget about working, all they interested in falling in love and getting married. Coming at the beginning of the 21st century this is a scary thought. Whatever happened to the fight started by their mothers in the 1980s when they went out to work? Preity and Sonali have no thoughts beyond the men and loves in their lives. Of course everyone is open about their dreams but their dreams are very conservative and boring.

The climax of the film with the showdown at the marriage is again a celebration of that institution with the emphasis that this is the most important day of your life. Something that other films have been singing for decades.

Dil Chahta Hai was never a fresh breeze of cinema. It just packaged the old values and passed it onto the next generation with songs, designer houses and funky hair styling. What more the young embraced it since they knew what they would become. Now that I can see it coming true all around me I'm scared.

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Bonded

Bond is now the most successful movie franchise in the world. Considering that half the world's population has seen a Bond flick, every now and then the people behind Bond update the super spy. This time around the change-over so mesmerizing that no one remembers the change Pierce Brosnan got to Bond. While Casino Royale was a truly phenomenal makeover for the famed agent, I can't help but think that Quantum of Solace (read review) kind of loses the plot somewhere. This is the first time in my Bond experience that I couldn't get the story. I know…you are going what the hell…Bond and story. Who gives a fish about things like plot, narrative, screenplay and other such cinematic terminology when you view something like a James Bond film?

That's exactly the thing the producers changed with Casino Royale. They really worked their gray cells and came up with a structure that doesn't follow the norm. They worked on a story and other things like characters and arc and what have you. After all here was a Bond who showed his softer side when he just hugged the girl under a shower after a bloody battle. He was so, for the lack of any other semi-worthy word, metrosexual. He fell in love with a woman who could match up to him and he wasn't going to let the villains get away when they eliminated the love of his life. So much so that he comes back in Quantum of Solace and parades a parallel plot wherein his search for Vesper's assassins doesn't stop till he avenges. It's a different story that he looks lost as a schoolboy while pursuing his tormentor but hey this is more than what one would ever expect from a Bond.

Daniel Craig is a strange choice to portray Bond. He isn't like Sean Connery or Roger Moore or even Brosnan but it wouldn't be totally incorrect to say that he dons a little of all his predecessors. He is mega physical and doesn't miss Q's zany inventions; he'd rather jump across the screen chasing the bad guys. Every ten minutes he gets into a fistfight with someone and every ten minutes you see a shot of him bleeding. I don't recall any Bond with blood on him besides Brosnan being tortured by the North Koreans in Die Another Day.

Has the effort of the Bond producers to rework Bond since Casino Royale gone a little too far? Casino Royale had no suggestion of him being a charmer. Maybe they were setting up the man for a newer, different world and with so much happening Bond never really gave a darn about charm. You think that by the time Quantum of Solace hit the screen he'd cultivate some charm. No go. This time around he's not even interested in the opposite sex. He is forever looking for a scuffle, a fight, an argument some bang, bang, some boom, boom.

This would also be the very first Bond flick wherein the famed Bond gals are missing. Bond isn’t interested in even seducing the first one. She meets him at some airport and commands him to stay put at some hotel rather than go looking for trouble. It’s not even like he suggests that they get cozy; the woman is more than eager to get it done with. It seems like she was briefed about the older Bond and she’d find it insulting if the things she heard weren’t true. The other woman is some secret agent who is on a mission of her own and is really busy standing up for herself rather than Bond. Even at the very end of the film she coyly suggests that she wishes she could take away his pain and all our man does is awkwardly kiss her. That kiss was so forced, so uncomfortable that I forgot all about it. It was only when a friend came up with her analysis of James Bond/ Daniel Craig that I was forced to think about it.

This is a changing world. We’ve had a white man rapping the blacks out and a black golfer acing the records. We now have a black US president and Bond is soft, caring, and too metrosexual. Daniel Craig suggested that he’d love the idea of an African-American portraying Bond…we still have some stops before that. Quantum of Solace managed to convince me that Bond’s could be more than just a recovering misogynist, he could be gay. If the next Bond has him doing the same stuff- jumping around like a teenager out of the West Side Story I’d be certain that Bond’s more than just a straight man.

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Madhur Bhandarkar's Fashion

The basic formula for any Madhur Bhandarkar film is as straight as it gets and his latest Fashion continues the tradition. Even though the film is laced with stupidity, Fashion manages to work on a lot of levels.

(Click here to read a review of Fashion)

The underdog usually comes from some godforsaken small town to the biggest baddest city in the world called Mumbai. Here the protagonist, usually a woman, starts to work in some fancy setting- a page three news desk, a traffic signal, some corporate outfit. As she is exposed to the workings of the business she is told that no one, absolutely no one can make it to the top without bartering a piece of their soul. She, being the idealistic woman, refuses but for how long. Somewhere in the middle she comes across people who are sympathetic and nice to her. Watch out she will hurt them eventually. Going thorough the throes of mundane existence she trades her morals for success. She is aware that even though she might do what is doesn’t believe in, this is just temporary. Predictably she changes into just the thing she loathes. Then something will go wrong, really wrong. In the bargain this person would be forwarded as a compromise candidate. This person will come a full circle and that will be the end of it. Their confidence would be shattered and they won’t believe in anything and continue with their lives.

Madhur Bhandarkar always finds a microcosm of the world in the premise of his films. Hence the traffic signal would become a mini India; the corporate entity would be just like the current world situation. He takes pot shots at the people of these worlds, he lampoons them. Everyone is caricatured in his films and his phobias are fueled. He tattles on the setting and fulfills the basic skewed notion that people have of a certain lifestyle. This works as everyone is a voyeur and who doesn’t love seeing someone fall. I was in Delhi when the fabled 1 MG Road mall was razed to the ground under the strange land ceiling act. There was such a show that was put up. The fashionistas cried hoarse saying that ‘middle class’ was jealous of their air kissing life and hence they were being singled out. This is exactly the kind of mindset that Bhandarkar operates on. He is one for headlines. He is the archetypal person who feeds on the Aaj Tak like sensationalism- follow headlines and don't bother with the main story.

Bhandarkar's characters are very black and white. His definition of gray is really slightly black or off-white and nothing more than that. Characters in Bhandarkar films don't really do anything but take a semi-stand. This largely reflects the director's own stance. In a recent television interview when pressed to reveal his personal take on issues that laced his films, Bhandarkar refused to say anything. The man was so scared that all he said was he was an observer who brings up an issue and once the film is over he moves on. He also confessed that the issue be it gay marriage or marital rape and other such 'sensational' ideas were his weapons only for a short span of time (he implied this) for once he is done with them the issue 'dies' for him (he said this).

This is rather sad and unfortunate for Madhur Bhandarkar fails to realize his own reach. There are people who wait for his films and take them a little to seriously at times. All my corporate friends used to sing his praises till he made a film on their supposed world. Now they had a problem with him as he showed nothing but lies! Here is a man who makes use of current affairs and doesn't even have the guts to voice his opinion.

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(No) Thank You for the Music

First a question. Where the hell was the bass guitarist? No seriously, where was he hiding? Or was the band Magic modeled after The Doors? Definitely the music did not sound that good.

Rock On pretends to be a journey of four members of a band that used to play together in college and then split up due to "ego" problems that are never really explained. The story begins in the present and we travel back and forth as the band tries to come together 10 years later. In the finale they perform on stage one last time.

Then why did they split up in the first place? During the band's college phase there is no build up of tension between the band members. All of a sudden when they are on the verge of signing a contract things go wrong. Maybe the reasons were vague but when they get back it seems all to easy. There is no conversation, no shouting sessions behind closed doors, no hearts are opened.

A quick comparison with That Thing You Do - a similar movie based on a band that comes apart on the verge of success, will make us realise where Rock On went wrong. First the music. There is no song that one can remember as one walks out of the hall. A film on a rock band and no good music? Jhankaar Beats had better music - both foot tapping and sing along stuff too.

Next the tension between the characters is not built up. In fact, Farhan (Akhtar) and Arjun (Rampal) have no chemistry between them. They are just not able to bring out the love/hate relationship that drives the band apart. The minor characters - Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny, Shahana Goswami (Arjun' wife) actually end up doing a better job.

What works in the films favour is the production design where each character's house/workplace is distinct thus showing how far they have grown apart. Everytime we see the houses, we are reminded that Arjun has been left to pick up the pieces of his life whereas Farhan has made it big in the financial world. Purab is busy with his father's jewelery business while Luke peddles his talent in under lit music studios.

For once the women characters seem to have something to do. It is Farhan's wife who actually manages to get the band members to meet again. And Arjun's wife keeps busy managing her in-laws fish business and her family always reminding her husband of how the band was a bad idea.

The scene where Farhan meets his ex girlfriend was the only takeaway. She tells him that when he left the music video shoot with a note saying that he would come back she knew he would not return. Farhan replies that in that case she understood him better. Later when he introduces his wife there are no histrionics. They smile since its all water under the bridge.

If only the same intensity was there in the rest of the film.

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The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight is everything you'd expect from a summer blockbuster and then some. In addition the film is unlike a 'regular' superhero film. In any case one look at films like Iron Man and The Dark Knight and you know that superhero films aren’t' what they used to be.

The Dark Knight continues the adventures of millionaire Bruce Wayne and his crime fighting vigilante alter ego The Batman. Gotham is safer by the night as every criminal fears the looming presence of Batman. The new DA Harvey Dent promises to be the perfect Ying to Batman’s Yang. While the ‘White’ Knight hauls up almost all the goons off the streets, The ‘Dark’ Knight contemplates weather the day when Gotham won’t need Batman is almost there. He starts looking forward to a life where he won't have to fight crime and be with the love of his Rachel Dawes. He doesn't know that its not just his job that Harvey Dent could take up but also his love.

Just when things seemed to settle down the Joker turns everything around. The perfect nemesis for Batman, the Joker is a psychopath extraordinaire who doesn’t know when to stop for he has no limits. The DA, Batman and Gordon all join forces to get rid of the Joker but it is nothing short of the fight of their lives. Through many tribulations the Dark Knight does save the day for Gotham but not before he corrupts the soul of Gotham in the form of DA Harvey Dent.

Batman Begins might have been the perfect vehicle to infuse life in a dying franchise and change things around for superhero films but The Dark Knight takes comic book films to an entirely different plane. Gone are the days of Batman and Robin, gone are the cool one-liners, this film does away with cardboard villains and depth less characters. The Dark Knight could arguably be the greatest superhero film ever made. What is surprising is the all around praises showered on the film and its crew. Christopher Nolan takes things up right from the word go; imagine a superhero film based on a comic book which is inspired by modern day classics such as Michael Mann’s Heat and William Friedkin’s The French Connection.

This would be always remembered for being the last completed assignment of the late Heath Ledger. The image of Jack Nicholson as the The Joker is ingrained beyond reproach in our subconscious. Heath Ledger has managed to do away with Nicholson and painted the Joker in his color. His Joker is sinister, cool and unstoppable who enjoys doing what he does- wreaking havoc. By the end of the film you realize that this film could have been called The Joker Cometh for Ledger dominates the proceedings beyond your wildest thoughts. Sadly a huge part of the praise for his work would naturally result from his untimely death looming large on the film but trust me the performance doesn’t need any parameters to evoke such reaction.

Perter Bart of Variety has argued that Christian Bale would be the only solo expression actor in the world to enjoy such success. Bale as The Batman was a welcome relief but there is something about him in this film that just doesn't click. Could it that we see more of the Batman and less of Bruce Wayne? The change in his voice that Bale incorporates for Batman is somewhat funny considering that everything else in the film tries to be uncomic book like. Or could it be that Batman is supposed to be wooden and with the death of Rachel Dawes even Bruce Wayne has lost all reason to go beyond the solo expression?

The film doesn't go into the origins of the Joker (like Batman) and never really explores Two Face (like Batman Forever) as much as his transformation, which I think was a very good idea. The great thing about the 'new' superhero films like Iron Man and The Dark Knight is that they don't idiot proof the film for the viewer. The safe haven of fantasy films is now over.

Image- Ninth Avenue

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Mission Istanbul

I’m tired of believing in things and then being taken for a royal ride. The promos and poster of Apoorva Lakhia’s debut feature Mumbai Se Aaya Mera Dost managed to rouse my curiosity. After watching the film I vowed never to see a Lakhia film. God save us for such a world where there is an Apoorva Lakhi film! Some promises were meant to be broken albeit unknowingly but some how I have ended up watching every film of his since his debut.

I tortured myself by enduring Mission Istanbul for no real reason. There is some hidden sadist in me who just wanted to see how bad the film could be. This is the same sadist who auto piloted me to Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag just to find out how stupid could the flick be. Mission Istanbul is a non-stop ride on the stupid side of a serious global menace called terrorism. Here there is no research and everything is loud and fast. Will someone please tell Lakhia that loud, cheesy and jarring sampled background score doesn’t make a film pacy. Imagine a scene where a character is talking about his dead wife and one showing two guys running from terrorists having the same earsplitting music.

As far as the acting is concerned Zayed Khan's longest role ever and he makes a hash out of it. I don't mind Vivek Oberoi for he tries hard. He was called great in Shootout but according to me he hammed his way through Lokhandwala. Here he tries to be restrained in the first few minutes and that could have been a yardstick for the character but watch him take off as a cocksure college senior leading Zayed. Shreya is Zayed's wife in the film and has precisely six scenes in the film and a song. She looks miscast and behaves like one. The other woman, the one called Liza Lobo, well let's just leave it there. Suneil Shetty is Suneil Shetty and the villian is someone who can play Hulk without the special effects!

If you think this is all then there is more. After a mind numbing chase sequence the character opens her car’s boot and takes out Mountain Dew. The goons finally catch up with out Dew sipping dudes; Vivek Oberoi looks at Zayed Khan and says, Darr Lag Raha Hain (Are you afraid?)…and Zayed offers the Mountain Dew answer, Darr Ke Aage Jeet Hai…(Victory after fear).

That’s not all.

The awesome threesome with the woman strutting her stuff in a tighter than tight jeans beat the crap out of the goons, who by the way are henchmen of a terrorist and come with baseball bats! There is the customary special appearance by good friend Abhishek Bachchan in an item number, which needless to say has no connection with the film. There is no hope in hell to survive this mission for whatever is left of your brain dies thanks to Amar Mohile's third-rate background music. Imagine a film set in Istanbul and there not a single trace of some local music. So much so that be it Srinagar, a love scene, a chase, a disco, a news office any place, any scene Mohile's music sounds the same.

Then there is a scene of a George Bush look alike inside Air Force One telling his people to leave India alone for they can’t attack everyone! The main villain is introduced as the head of a TV channel who wears a tuxedo to work!!!

Need I say more?

(As a matter of fact I have said more about this film at twitch film.)

Image: www.chakpak.com

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